Memoirs of an Average Unaverage Guy: Entry #2- My Mother, Pot, and Stupid Action Movies

8:27 p.m.

One of my bracelets is breaking. If you don’t know, which you definitely don’t since you don’t know who I am, I wear bracelets. Nothing flashy, just some rubber ones and some rope ones. I go through bracelets every now and then, such is to be expected when I wear them 24/7. Normal people get watch and Chaco tan lines, I get bracelet tan lines. The one on my right arm broke recently; which I still need to replace it =_=,  and now one of the rubber ones on my left arm is breaking. –sigh– I don’t know why I’m even bothering to write this down, it was just something on my mind I guess.

Anyways, lets talk about the day since I last left off. I went out to eat at Cracker Barrel with my mother. First off, if you don’t know what Cracker Barrel is, it’s this Southern-breakfast/dinner-country store-kind-of-place, and the food they serve isn’t bad. Stuff like country fried steak, pancakes, eggs, pot roast, chicken tenders with sawmill gravy, you get the idea. Second off, my mother, and the relationship I share with my mother, is complicated. My mother and I are two very different people, and we each have our own set of… issues that keep us from getting along all the time, or most of the time. My mother is, in short: neurotic, bipolar, senile, hoarding, hard of hearing, disgusting, and might be suffering from Alzheimer’s. You probably think I’m being a little harsh. Trust me, I’m not, I’m just being blunt. That’s not to say I don’t have my own issues. Asperger’s, the memory of a goldfish, the lack of general perception, a general sense of narcissism, ADHD, and being antisocial in general. We either tend to fight a lot, or to have these awkward moments. We’re in an awkward moment right now. I’ve been smoking over break, since I have literally nothing better to do than to play video games and watch Netflix, why not smoke alongside it? Well, earlier in the week she insinuated I was smoking and asked if I was but then quickly backtracked and said she didn’t want to know yet. Well, since then things have been a little weird, but nothing to fret on really. I figured I’d spend some time with her to show her I was fine, so that even if it did in fact turn out that I were smoking, it’d be okay since I was still somewhat social and functional, and it wasn’t effecting(or is it affecting?) my schoolwork. Well, cut that plan cause she caught me smoking last night. Well, not actually smoking, but she smelt smoke in my room; and she commented on it. I can’t really handle social situations when I’m high, so I didn’t really respond. That’s made things pretty awkward between us right now, but I don’t see this as becoming anything big. I honestly halfway expect her to ask me to let her try some. Her sister clearly smoked at some point, I feel like my mother would’ve known this, and they’re still friends today so why would it be different for us? Well, she did know it, because she said it at dinner tonight.

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..

HOLY SHIT. 

I just realized I’m completely headcased. If you don’t know what that means, it means being really really really high. I just got this new water pipe and I think I hit it too hard. Good thing I’m writing this down, or else I’d never remember it.

Sorry about that. Anyways. So yeah. That happened at dinner tonight with my mother. I kind of got sidetracked. That tends to happen when I write. I usually edit it for school writings or when I write little stories, but I think I’ll leave it as is. After all, they are my memoirs. Part of the reason I’m writing these is because my head is always brewing with ideas, but I never remember them later on. This way, by keeping a daily written accord of myself and my thoughts, I have a written record that I can always reflect back on. Even if no one reads this stuff, as least I’ll be able to look back when I’m old and look at my writings from years past. That’ll be cool:).

Tomorrow I’m going out with my Aunt Kathy(who’s not really my aunt but basically is) to see some movie called The Accountant. I have no idea what it’s about but based off Aunt Kathy’s tastes and the title, I’d have to say it’s probably some shoot-em-up movie where some badass codenamed “The Accountant” shoots a bunch of mother fuckers that come after him for either something he did in the past or something he didn’t do at all, where along the way he most likely will have some sort of female and/or children to care for and protect that may/or may not be threatened. He will then proceed to brutally murder every bad guy in his way until he saves the day and kills the biggest baddie of them all. Sounds like a great Aunt Kathy movie. See, I like intelligent film, really I do.But I also love just watching some stupid shit that is meant to entertain me for a short while and then I forget about it a few days later. These ridiculous action movies are great for that. Great “brain filler.” In my mind, these movies are great to reflect on later in my head. They’re just great fodder to think about reflect back in your head later. Then in a few days, you forget about it, aside from random instances where it pops back into your head. Until you watch it again later in life, only to replay it some more in your mind for the next few days, then you forget about aside from random spikes where it briefly crosses you mind; until you watch it again even later on in life, and rinse and repeat. Really is kind of crazy to think about.

Anyways, more about Aunt Kathy later. I think I’ve done enough writing for now lol, it’s 10:03 p.m. already. Uh, if anyone is out there reading this, thanks I guess for being interested enough in my life to read this thing? Shit I don’t know man, just thanks I guess. I don’t know what for, but thanks.

Memoirs of an Average Unaverage Guy: Entry #1-Introductions I Guess?

1:00 p.m.

Let me start off by saying I have no idea what I’m doing. Not a clue. I’m just a college kid looking for a writing outlet. I’ve always enjoyed writing. The ability to let your mind wander and guide your fingers to create exciting adventures and enthralling tales and to then share these works with others has just always amazed and enticed me. Now, I just want a way to share what my mind is able to guide my hands into creating, and I figured blogging was one way to do it.

Now, I guess I should introduce myself. I’m 18 years old, a guy if you couldn’t tell by the title, I go to a university of 40,000 students where I am studying for an English major with a teaching certificate. I enjoy video games, cooking, writing, reading, watching/studying films and shows, and generally being in a positive position in life. I have Asperger’s Syndrome, which is high-functioning autism. If you don’t know what that is exactly, I definitely recommend you look it up. Basically, as far as I can tell it means I perceive and interpret things in life a little differently. Anyways. That’s enough about me for now. I’m still not sure whom I should be addressing these writings to, myself or an audience? I don’t even know if anyone other than myself will ever read these. I guess it doesn’t really matter in the end if no-one reads it or if everyone in the world reads it. This is really just for myself and just having the ability to share my writings with others is good enough.

I guess I can talk about my life goals. I want to be a high school English teacher, a published author, and big-name movie director. I want to be a name that is remembered by many long after I’m dead. But that’s just the job stuff. I want to graduate college. I might want to go to film school. I want to start writing books. I want to watch films and learn all these different techniques and film tricks. I always feel that there is so much to do in life and never enough time to do any of it. We all have other priorities in life we have to take care of. Jobs, school, sleep, social groups, stuff like that. All that stuff takes time. So you can’t do everything that you want to do all at once. You have to space it out, handle one thing at a time while you also take care of your other priorities. As someone with horrible time-management skills , this is not easy for me to do. So I often bounce between things alongside my priorities in life, but I’m going to try to stick with this since I see this only bettering me.

4:30 p.m.

I took a short break from writing, just to kind of focus on some other things. Had a short smoke in that time. It’s winter break right now so I don’t really have any priorities like school or work to focus on, so I’m able to smoke more frequently than I normally do. There’s a lot of stigmas and stereotypes about people who smoke. It doesn’t really matter to me. I like to smoke and that’s all there is to it really. Anyways, lately I’ve been watching a lot of shows. Sherlock, That 70’s Show, a few anime here and there. I re-watched Archer for the second time; still my favorite show right now. Sherlock was pretty amazing although confusing at times. Yesterday I started Narcos though, and it’s been pretty good so far. It’s interesting to think about how cocaine really was such a problem in the 80’s and it’s crazy how much trouble it caused. Well, I’ve hit a wall for writing for now. I’ll update when I think of something.

6:12 p.m.

I just finished episode 2 of Narcos. I was fine with the episode until the end, where they hang a cat. That really upset me. I really like cats and just the other day my cat got hit by a car so seeing this dead cat reminded me of  my cat. I miss my cat, he wasn’t even a year old yet. The rest of the show was pretty good though. It’s a little dark though, in the sense that there’s no humor, so I’ll probably only watch it an episode or 2 at a time. Not that it isn’t a good show, it’s just that I need a lot of humor in my life so shows with no humor tend to get watched over time. Speaking of shows, there are a lot that have been piling up that I need to watch or finish watching. Jessica Jones, Arrow, Bob’s Burgers, Stranger Things, Gotham, Narcos… not to mention what’s in my Crunchyroll queue.