Memoirs of an Average Unaverage Guy: Entry 4#- The Accountant, and some other stuff.

5:42 p.m.

Well, I was pretty spot on with most of what I said about the movie The Accountant. It was a shoot-em-up movie where a badass codenamed “The Accountant” shot a bunch of mother fuckers that came after him, protected some girl he’d only known for 2 days from dozens of assassins, and killed the biggest baddie of them all in the end. I was only wrong about him doing something in his past or being framed. What I didn’t expect though was the movie focusing around autism and Asperger’s, which “The Accountant ” has and coincidentally so do I. It was really interesting to see the portrayal of what people think it’s like to have Asperger’s Syndrome through film though, especially for one such as myself whom actually has Asperger’s Syndrome. In the film, The Accountant has extreme problems with bright lights, loud noises, not being able to finish something, social interactions, OCD,  and there’s something that requires him to take opioids and roll a pin on his leg at night. Out of all of those, I think the only trait that I share is social interactions. Small talk doesn’t come to me naturally, so often times I wind up just sitting next to someone in a(an?) awkward silence. It was cool to see how he interacted with others and how I could compare that to myself.

7:14 p.m.

I took a short little break from writing to go play some video games. I’m really into strategic games, games that make you think. The game I was just now playing was Clash Royale. You may know what it is, you may not. It’s a mobile dueling app where you battle other people using your own custom “army” per-say. What I like about it is the fact that I’m playing against real people in real time. You have to account for your opponents moves. Your opponent isn’t a computer, set up like clockwork; no, your  opponent is a real live human being, and you can never fully expect what a human being will do. I have to think 1 move, 2 moves, 3 moves in advance in order to outplay and outsmart my opponent, and sometimes you get into those really good games, the kind of games where you’re both equally matched and you stay head to head the entire game until one of you can finally beat the other. Shit. I tend to ramble when I smoke. New topic!

I’m getting my hair cut tomorrow. It’s long overdue, so I can’t wait. I’m in the process of growing it out right now, originally my hair was cut at the eyebrows; but now I’m planning on having it at jaw length or maybe even longer. I’ve had longish hair before, but never that long. A few years ago I remember having longish hair that went down to the bottom of my nose if I pulled it straight down, but honestly I only remember this because I have pictures saved in my phone. Currently the length of my hair is just about touching the tops of my eyes, so I’m getting there, slowly but surely. I feel like I’m rambling again. New topic!

I found my hat today. I had lost it and I couldn’t find it anywhere but it turns out I left it at Aunt Kathy’s the last time I was over there. Now if I could only find my pocket knife, my Swiss army knife, and my eye glasses cleaning cloth. Seriously, I lose shit almost as much as I forget shit man. It’s a serious problem because I still haven’t found my gameboy or that garden snake that escaped its cage back when I was a kid. Not only do I lose things and forget stuff, I forget conversations while I’m having the goddamn conversation. You can probably see how that can pose a problem in every day life. How can you talk to people, if you can’t remember what you said 30 seconds ago? People always ask why I hate talking on the phone or why I always save my snapchat messages. Because I won’t remember what I said the next day if I can’t go back and look.Shit, the next day. Try the next 30 minutes. I’ll forget what people tell me that quick. And don’t get me wrong! It’s not because I don’t care about what they said or anything, it’s just that I can’t remember. Stuff leaves my mind as quickly as it comes in, and I can’t stop it. That’s why I love physical records so much. Books. Films. Paintings and photos, essays and memoirs. They can be re-read or re-watched or re-looked at time and time again, reforming it fresh in your mind.

Well I think I’m off for now.  Don’t think I’ll be long out of bed, only got about 3 and a half hour’s sleep. Yeet.

7:56 p.m.

Memoirs of an Average Unaverage Guy: Entry #3- I can’t sleep.

6:08 a.m.

I can’t sleep. It isn’t anything new. I’ve had this problem for a long time. You see, at night, when all lights are out and all noises are silent; the opportunity to think awaits. You know it’s time to sleep, but your mind starts to reel with thoughts and imagination and you just can’t help but think about if Kimmi actually liked your top today or if the theory of God applies to the multidimensional time-lapse paradox theory in relation to eggs and waffles. You know what I mean? Little thoughts just crawl into your mind as you try to sleep and you can’t help but lay awake and think about them. Why spend precious time on sleep when you can spend it thinking? I’m kind of hungry but making food is a lot of effort at 6 a.m. I think I’d rather live off the open jar of peanut butter until breakfast/lunch with my Aunt Kathy.

I’m really torn on whether to make this blog anonymous or not. I don’t really care about being anonymous in the sense that what I’m going to say on here would not change whether I were posting anonymously or with my name attached. The other thing is though, I don’t always do the most legal things, and that can conflict with career choices if I attach my name. What I’m thinking though is that I stay anonymous for now, and if i get “revealed” later on I won’t really care because I know I’ll have become big enough to where somebody actually took the time out of their lives to find and reveal my name, and that would be pretty cool.

I see the sky starting to turn pink. Shit. Maybe I need to start taking more Benadryl (Benadryl has a side effect that can make you very drowsy). I once took 4 of those mother fuckers when I was like 10 and I shit you not I was dead for 18 hours I slept so hard. I recently took 4 again for second time because I had taken two but i was still having bad allergies. It didn’t hit me nearly as hard, but it still hit me. Thing is I shouldn’t have to pop a few antihistamines to get a decent night’s sleep. Weed usually helps with this. I can usually get a little high and relax and drift off to sleep, but tonight doesn’t seem to be one of those nights just yet. Hopefully I fall asleep soon so I’m not beat later today. I’m really starting to get hungry :(.

7:01 a.m.

I went and got myself a glass of milk. At this point I wonder if I should even go to sleep. I’ll need to be up by 10 and ready to go by 10:30. Even if I went to sleep now I’d only get about 3 hours tops. And then there’s the worry that I’ll be so tired I’ll sleep through my alarms and end up blowing Aunt Kathy off, which I definitely do not want to do. Maybe I’ll try to not sleep. But I doubt I’ll be able to do that, I can finally start to feel the sleepiness weigh in. I could shower after the movie and save about an hour’s worth of time. I could probably live with 4 hour’s sleep and getting up at 11. Yea, I think I’ll do this :).

I’m going to try and get some sleep now. Need to change all of my alarms to and hour later. If you’re reading this, I hope you enjoy your day.